The Father has brought this hymn to my mind so many times this week. It has been such a hard week for me...But even through the hardships "He has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul." Last Friday night I was able to have a wonderful dinner with Isabella and her family. They came to pick me up and went to an amazing Hot Pot place about a mile form my University!!! It was incredible to sit with them and enjoy a meal together, even though the only person I could talk to was Isabella. Her sister speaks English but she is very quiet. But somehow I fel like her parents and I conversed the whole evening. Through hand motions and a little bit of Chinese that I spoke we clearly understood one another:-) I told them how much I love Isabella and what a great job they did parenting her. They didn't really know how to respond so they laughed:-) Then her dad kept toasting with me:-) She told me later they said many things about me after they dropped me off. It was at this point that it hit me, She was leaving and I was going to have to say goodbye to her again. The first time, when she left Texas, I was able to say good bye easily. I knew we would meet again in a few months and even though it was hard, I had a focus on to the next thing. This time was so different. I sort of felt like I was losing her. When will I see her again? How is it going to be for her living in America, alone? How will she wake up on her own and get where she needs to go, etc. LOL I had all of these "Mothery" feelings and also the biggest burden was for her heart.
On Saturday my other teammates and I met at our teamleaders home for a wonderful day of encouragement and sharing. We got to hear each person's story of how they got to China and also just have time lifting different ones up to the father. It was an amazing day but at the end I was exhausted!!! I spent the night in Wuchang with my friend Mandi and she and our other friend Chelsie talked the night away!! So nice to visit with friends!
Sunday we took a taxi back to my side of town for Fellowship. I was not expecting to have such a rough day but when wrship started so did my tears. I don't think I was able to stop until after the whole service was over. I could not control it...they just kept coming. So many things were on my heart!!!! The Father is working on me right now...it is such a wonderful thing but wow, it is also painful! I really had to come to a place on Sunday where I let Isabella go. In many different areas but especially her soul. I long for her to know HIM!! I am so broken for the people here and their lostness but she is my baby! I love her and Fenja like my own. I didn't think that would be possible, but it happened and there's no going back:-) Wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!! SO needless to say, I was pretty broken on Sunday. After fellowship Isabella met us all at Aloha Diner and we had a great time visiting.
She was going to spend the day with Kirk and I one last time before heading to California. So after lunch we all came back to my place and changed for a great game of football(american soccer)!!! She loves football! She played at Magnolia High School:-) So it ended up being the foreigners(and Isabella) against the Chinese:-) Such a fun game....we did have 2 other Chinese on our team so it could be even. We played our hearts out! Then we came back to my apt for water and visiting:-) Such a great time together.
After everyone left Isabella, Kirk and I headed out for an adventure! We went to the local arcade that is close to Walmart and played games for a few hours and then decided to roller skate! Oh my this was quite an experience!!! The Chinese are amazing roller skaters. They skate like they drive...CRAZY!!!! I have not had that many random hand on me, EVER! they would speed past me and thankfully instead of plowing into the back of me they would touch my back to move me out of the way. Kinda awkward but I have learned that pretty much everything is awkward here so I just need to get used to it! After we skated until we couldn't skate any more we went to dinner at Korean BBQ!!! This was a blast...it was so late so we had to eat fast but basically you cook your own food in the middle of the table with a small BBQ contraption. LOL I got to be the BBQ'er so that was fun:-) I enjoyed it! We pretty much shut the place down and had to walk the mall to figure out how to get out:-) Then came the hardest part...saying goodbye:-( We PRed for Isabella before we left and my tears began to flow again. I think she is used to it....She lived with me for a year...lol. It was such a sweet time. After we were finished she looked at me and told me that she loved me and said, "I think this year I will believe." I was pretty amazed and had such a peace that she knows and needs time to process. Please be lifting her up to the Father as she begins this new Journey.
They got in different taxis and drove away and I decided to walk home. I love to walk at night....I begin to cry my eyes out at the goodness of the Father. So many things had to happen to get each of us to this pont. But What an amazing Journey HE has each of us on.
Monday was rough...classes were crazy! So I had the brilliant Idea to have my hair professionally curled...I mean when your having a bad day, having your hair done sounds great. The chinese people have permanent curl put into their hair and it looks great so i thought i would give it a try. My Chinese friend, Snow, went with me and told them what I wanted....5 hours and 2 tries later, I look like I stuck my finger in a light socket:-( Oh it was just not getting better. They I rushed home for my first Chinese lesson. I was pretty overwhelmed and tired and well, frustrated. I had realized earlier that day that one of the things I have been struggling with since I arrived is how selfish I am to "My Rights"! Wow, I had no idea!!! I mean, it should be my right to cross the street without getting honked at by the car that came out of nowhere and cut infront of me. It is my right to wait patiently in line without getting pushed into by 5 people that want to cut in front of me. It is also my right to have rules as a teacher and not get told how to enforce my teaching plans and goals. Yeah....I realize that if I am going to be completely yielded to the Father I HAVE to yield my rights about everything!!! The Father has provided a wonderful small group that I have been attending and being so fed. I realize I have so much to work on in the area of yielding! Please PR that I will be broken about this and fully yielded to HIM!
Tuesday I found out that my mom had been taken to the hospital and was being admitted. This was such a hard thing for me to release to Him. Yielding, again...not an easy thing for me. But HE has given so much peace and grace. My mom is going to be having tests tonight(for me) tomorrow(for US). She is in His hands!!
His grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made perfect in My weakness!!!
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